Saturday, March 6, 2010
Blue
So, its about that time... The days are getting longer and time seems to be creeping by and I just want to take a pill and sleep for the next two months!!! I wont, believe me!!! Its just how I feel right now. I am really completely over this deployment and the anticipation of the end just makes me blue, it is not quite time to get excited and even when I do that balloon always gets popped!!! I remember feeling this way with our first deployment but this time it is a little more intense! I think it is because of M, I want J to meet her so bad it hurts. I want him to be able to experience this part of her life, and she is growing and changing so fast... there is absolutely nothing I can do about it! Another reason is N, he actually knows that something is missing from our life and it hurts him too! DEPLOYMENT SUCKS and yes I know I signed up for this but it doesnt change that fact!!!
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Your not alone!!!!! I swear, it feels like there is no end in sight! I am feeling so mad and bitter towards everyone. I keep telling my kids that they are so out of control, but then it just dawned on me, that maybe I'm the one out of control?
ReplyDeleteAt least the weather is getting nicer out, and Noah can get outside and play.
Let me know if you need anything! I mean it!