I have not been a very good blogger of the past few months! I just get all wrapped up and when I think of something to write about I usually end up forgetting to sit down and do it! Anyway it has been pretty blah around here...
I have been in such a funk lately and I am so ready to move on, but some days it seems so much easier to just stay in my little hole and not come out! I know I really don't have anything to complain about, but this cloud just wont go away! So what is it? Depression? Winter Blues? A funk? Post-partum (I know its been a year but how long can it last)? UGH! It is just so frustrating! This post might make me seem weak or like I am just complaining but I really don't care!
We have had some hard learned life lessons over the past few months and I think that has a lot to do with the way I feel! Sometimes our eyes where bigger than our stomachs and now we are paying for it! We are also having to make some decisions about our future and with all the job uncertainty out there it is a bit daunting! We go back and forth and always end up with, "we are just going to have to wait and see".
I am also trying to forgive without an apology! There are people out there who refuse and expect life to go on, normally, happily as if there has never been any wrong done! I say I don't care or that I am over it but lets be realistic that is a lot easier said than done! I guess this mood I am in has turned me into a bit of a grudge holder and I don't like that one bit!
So, today is the day it changes!!! It is not going to be instant but it is going to change (it has to, I am driving my family nuts). I have to move on, I want to be that laid back, loving, smiley person again! Today is the day I let it go! I say to those that have hurt me, its not okay but I forgive you! I will not let you treat me or my family that way ever again but I forgive you!
It is time for me to move on! So after this post I am going to shake a few things up and make some changes to this blog!
I believe in you and you are an amazing person, mother and friend. Change is good and we both talked about this before. You will find what direction and path your suppose to be on as a family. You may hit a fork in the road, but you will find your way. Stay positive. Don't look back on your "bad judgements" from last year, just look forward and move on. We all learn from our mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI am sending you some sunshine and a hug! I miss you!!!!
I've totally been there!! I'm willing to wager it's just a funk. Usually after a move I get pretty blah myself. You just have to put yourself out there, even when you feel like staying in the hole:) I just blogged about something like this on my Papa Don't Preach blog. When I'm faced with a hard situation sometimes I just curl into the fetal position. You can't listen to what anyone else says. People have their own opinions and experiences that bias them. Ultimately you have to go with what feels right for you and your family, even if people tell you you're crazy!
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